(phantom psalms) - 幻影诗篇

by b e g o t t e n 自杀

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about

begottensuicide.bandcamp.com

The next release in the b e g o t t e n 自杀 saga is here: (phantom psalms) - 幻影诗篇

Stream/Purchase here: geometriclullaby.bandcamp.com

FULL STORY BELOW:

Sage Green Limited to 50 copies.

This release strikes me as the "low" point of this artist's life. Not low as in quality, but low as in rock bottom depression. If hushwave was the light and airy, even vaporous, release, then this is the heavy, slow moving, hulking counterpart. They are the sounds of a mad person; someone who had gone off the deep end.

From the onset of the very first track, my heart felt like it had a weight pressing into it. Like sleep paralysis, I was terrified and yet my body completely relaxed. From the choice of chords and textures of the samples down to the lyrics, this album hits me probably most hard of all the b e g o t t e n 自杀 releases.

This poem was given with the release:

"A ghost is a being sent to remind 
A creature of memory, outside of space and time 
It returns with a vengeance, won't leave me alone 
Just as happiness finds me, my honesty is blown 

Another year will I last? A decade or two? 
Every day is a curse, but somehow I get through 
A friend is a pawn, a lover the same 
Another piece of my life, just a game 

I'll lose soon enough, I'll fall to the rest 
Inside I have lost, I've failed the test 
I deserve to disappear, and be forgotten at last." 

Along with this quote, which can be found in one of the songs:

"Please, don't touch me...stay away" 

And this text:

1不是给我们,耶和华,不是给我们,乃是因为你们的爱和信实,就是荣耀。 2为什么国家说:“他们的神在哪里?”3我们的神在天上。他做任何让他喜欢的事情。 4但他们的偶像是银和金,由人的手制成。他们有嘴,但不能说话,眼睛,但看不见。他们有耳朵,但听不到,鼻子,但不能闻到。他们有手,但感觉不到脚,但不能走路,也不能用喉咙发出声音。 8那些造他们的人,就像他们一样,所有信任他们的人也是如此。 9你们所有的以色列人相信耶和华 - 他是他们的帮助和盾牌。 10亚伦家,相信耶和华 - 他是他们的帮助和盾牌。 11敬畏他的,信耶和华 - 他是他们的帮助和盾牌。 12耶和华记念我们,要祝福我们,他将要祝福他的百姓以色列,他将要祝福亚伦的家,13他要保佑那些敬畏耶和华 - 小和大的人。 5月14日,耶和华使你们兴起,无论你和你的孩子。 15愿耶和华,天地的造物者蒙福。 16最高的天属于耶和华,乃属于他给人类的地球。赞美耶和华的,不是沉默的人,不是死人。 18我们现在和永远都是传扬耶和华。赞美耶和华 

From my last excerpt, I have yet to receive any more communication. So I had to investigate further the item I had gotten in the mail previously.

I was able to contact a good friend who lives in the area of the Georgia address given to me. They actually took the time to find the address given to me to scope out the place.

When they facetimed me, they were in the middle of a beautiful graveyard. I could see the stones and trees in the background. They informed me that they couldn't find anything of interest, but I asked them to just look a little bit longer - since they had already gone through all that trouble.

I knew there had to be something, anything, there.

My friend was alone and the connection wasn't the greatest, but they agreed. As the sun began to set, they walked along each line of headstones and showed me everything they could see. I watched from my office, focused and just wishing I could have made the trip myself.

He kept telling me, "It's just a graveyard, man. Whoever it was it probably just fucking with you." But I didn't want to believe it.

"Just keep going. Walk through the whole thing," I told him. And so he did so.

I wished I had just one more email or anything to help explain the letter and what it meant. But I had nothing to go off of.

My friend reached the last row of gravestones (according to him) and we'd found absolutely nothing. When he turned the camera to leave, I spotted something.

"What was that?" I yelled, nearly spilling my drink.

"I don't see anything, I..."

"No on the road!"

Behind him, on the only road path that led into the cemetary was an all black car. I swear it hadn't been there before and it wasn't my friend's.

His face fell from a joking and light expression to fear. He hadn't notice that car before either.

"I'm not going anywhere near that!" he told me.

I begged him to talk to them, to maybe knock on the window or at least wave, but he refused.

The car didn't move and the windows were tinted so dark that it was impossible to see if anyone was inside.

By luck, the connection started to downgrade and the picture became blurry. The black of the car smudged the screen, mixed with the greens and greys, painting the screen with its bad connection.

Next the audio cut in and out. I only got one more flash of something distinguishable before it completely disconnected. I couldn't tell if my friend was smiling or screaming. The still frame left me anxious and worried.

I tried calling over the next few days and it seemed that his phone was off or had no connection.

The next week, I called and was horrified to find out that his number had been disconnected completely, his facebook deleted, and any form of contact erased as far as I could tell.

I called the police station after that and gave them all the information I had. Not three days later, I get a call.

It's my friend.

He acts as if nothing had happened, as if he checked out the graveyard and there was nothing there. I ask about his phone, his time away, and his facebook. But he brushes it all off as in my head. He says that he'd been busy, there must have been a problem with his provider, and that he had gotten tired of facebook so he deleted it for a while.

At this point I didn't know what to think. I knew the only other place I could get a clue from was the place that the envelope I received. The mental institution. I mentioned the possibility of my friend going to check that place out as well, but he said he was busy.

He hasn't contacted me since. I plan to figure out more on the mental institution from which the letter I received was addressed. And of course, I will be checking my email, waiting for contact of any kind.

Please enjoy this album; to all who can handle something dark, heavy, and truly vaporous. Please enjoy (phantom psalms) - 幻影诗篇 by the ever enigmatic b e g o t t e n 自杀

Music Video #1:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fm_7jasoa6I

Music Video #2:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Ab5US3DRL0

Made in the UK.

GEO - 015

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released July 23, 2018

GEO - 015

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Geometric Lullaby Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

A collection of songs about life and death.

Submissions: geometriclullaby@hotmail.com

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